Zan's Picture of Life

I am so doomed!

9:09 AM, December 28, 2007 .. 9 comments .. Link

*inhaleeeeee exhaleeee* i dunno where to start. byk sgt nak bagitau tapi selalu end up mind blogging saje. this is more of luahan hati and as usual i need your ears/ shoulder whichever you all can offer that can comfort me in one way or the other. 1st of all hati nie rasa tak tenang, or maybe i shall say rasa sedih dan sayu. maybe it's not a big deal to some but to me it means a lot. actually it's about my work....i think no one except famy who knows what exactly which contributes so much of mind boggling with our so called career (or for her ex-career). as some of you have known, i hv the same job description with famy : we are in manage services industry, 100% customer base offering our tecnhical skills in hostings except for one thing that is different, we tackle different platform. So basically we are quite well verse and understand each other day to day frustration more than other people. We have been talking about quiting...errr actually I think I was more vocal and some sort of letting everyone knows that I wanna quit from this job hehehe...Not to be SAHM but to change industry, I'm the kind who gets really bored with mundane work and panicky even with small issues. When I was in confinement, I got this "urgent" SMS from famy telling abt her retirement. I was so shocked..all the while I have been thinking of leaving the company end of 2007 and voila famy is soon to leave :( i didn't really 'entertain' the content as I was busy with the new baby but when I came to work on the 1st day, I felt sooooo lonely..it's like suddenly you do not have any friends..friends that you can really share your hapiness and sadness. Yes, I still have another lunch buddy Mdm Y but she is my customer, she's not in the same league. Rasa mcm patah sebelah kaki! and on that 1st day of work, remember i had logistic problem for my pumping session, that added to my low morale, baby-speration-anxiety, feeling lost, sadness and whateveyeous mode I was having. From that day onward, the urge of quitting is stronger and shall I say out loud, the feeling of waking up and dressing up for work is hell! Setiap hari rasa sedih nak pie ofis, tak bermotivasi langsung!

Yesterday, i was even more upset. My boss is quiting and his last day is next Monday!!!. Sedih ya amat!!!. Let me tell you what I really dislike about my job...1st, we have to respond for any issues, tak kira siang malam, weekend or public holidays in certain time frame, basically you don;t have a peaceful life. Once you take up the issue (meaning you are working to solve it), customers and management are really at your back which sometimes kind of menyakitkan hati dan tak faham2 ker aku tgh kerja nie :P, then the worst part that I have to deal, is the post portem phase and let me tell you, I'm so unfortunate to have sordid customers whom eventually loves to throw condescending words. All the while my boss has been my saviour, he can take shit from them unlike me, I will get very very upset, moody, cranky and there goes my day. Kesian kat anak2 and kesian to moi also, kang tak semena mena aku boleh dpt HBP *dang*. If he goes, you do the math. If you think I have been working for so long, and I should have been very good at this. Oh well, let me tell you, I can say that I'm of course doing better in the technical work but managing the customer part, it's a pain in the ass! I realize this too late :(

Sometimes I feel like quiting my job and do nothing, sometimes I feel I need to have the ME money. I'm so puzzle...I guess I need to pray harder and hopefully Allah swt will show some guidance on what's the best for me...mudah2an, amin!

Pray with me okay and thank you for reading this. I felt a lot better :)

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*pat pat*

11:54 AM, December 28, 2007 .. Posted by futuredoc
sounds like everything is so overwhelming. maybe take a deep breath, relax a bit and look at the bigger picture. look at your sons' faces when they're sleeping..i'm sure you'll feel very peaceful.

hope the way opens for you and you can make a decision. sometimes kan we are so afraid of making the wrong decision that we don't make the decision.

Allahu yahdeek!
((hugs))

oh dear!!

3:20 PM, December 28, 2007 .. Posted by mamarawks
did my previous entry triggered this?? gua tetiba rasa guilty la plak..

anyway i feel you.. if you have a chance to move than it maybe the best for you .... berhijrah.. but if you think staying there is the best for now.. i just pray for you to be strong...

zan dearie...

1:21 AM, December 29, 2007 .. Posted by oflionandbear
just today i decided to resurface and checking blogs..

*pat pat pat*
i understand, tho maybe our job field quite different but i do understand tht streak of quitting.
*huggs*

i just hope u feel better now.
and yes, wake up in the morning lumbered to bathroom then getting prepare to work, while watching the sleepy face cutie pie in the bed, i'd say it's quite biggie to be dealt with.
(err..sbb tu la late to office is my trademark)

*huuggs*

Dan juga

6:13 AM, December 29, 2007 .. Posted by lollies
kemungkinannya dengan tiadanya boss awak, you will resurface dengan lebih dasatnya.

Hugs dear.

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11:18 AM, December 30, 2007 .. Posted by rotidua
Jangan stress sangat nanti effect makanan anak. Sian baby. What can i say yer... hmm... look on the positive side like what lollies said?

macam tak kena je eh.

hur hur hur you will prevail, i'm sure. Meantime... try la other industries mana lah tau...

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7:52 AM, December 31, 2007 .. Posted by mosh
sabar cik kak oi. manala tau your boss quitting means you're getting the post and better resume for you to go outside?

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8:58 AM, December 31, 2007 .. Posted by lazydaisy
clueless actually what to comment...
i pun tak reti maybe sis elisa ke sis famy can give better advise ni heheh...

berdoa la, insyaAllah Allah permudahkan urusan you and dapat la petunjuk nanti.

takpe tensen tu pegi la retail therapy... heheh kan byk sale skrg ni... ke pampering treatment ke...hehe for me ni susah la sikit sebab takde budget

hugs semua...

1:55 AM, January 2, 2008 .. Posted by zan
thank you all for reading this....it means a lot to me...i have been thinking hard lately but still haven't found any answer...still thinking and still praying :(

as we talked over the phone...

2:25 AM, January 7, 2008 .. Posted by famygirl
i terjun dulu, baru belajar berenang! :D

of course, kenalah doa banyak-banyak. kalau nak jadi sahm (not easy but doable) you'd need to be prepared financially or at least mentally prepared to earn ciput ME money if you plan to work from home. kalau nak persevere (not easy too, sorry!) who knows this could mean a career advancement for you.
nanti bila-bila kita sembang lagi.

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Zan's Picture of Life

I am so doomed!

pat pat

oh dear!!

zan dearie...

Dan juga

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hugs semua...

as we talked over the phone...

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